I’ve just been invited to take part in a panel discussion on blogging for sex workers, at the forthcoming EROTICON 2013. A conference for people who write sex blogs. There seems to be a lot of interest in women, specially, writing about their sex lives, and to be even more precise, on women’s submission on the written page. No prizes for guessing that this sudden interest owes a lot to the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenom. There are so many blogs, many of them excellent, written by women who explore their sexualities and anlyse them, that I wouldn’t know where to start to recommend the best ones. it’s no wonder that a conference is organized, for the second year running, to discuss this and to help bloggers meet each other. We live online too much, I think!
I w2as pleased to be invited, because there are a lot of lifestyle women invited to the conference, but a conspicuous absence of professional sex workers. As if it was assumed that we are only interested in doing our thang, then go home and count our money. without a need to stop and ponder about our career, which takes up so much time in our lives, that that teaches us and others so much. Yes, escorts and dominatrices write blogs too.
I’m pondering on what it is I’m going to talk about. First of all, that I rite blogs to reach a type of client that will feel more satisfied by a Domme who sounds real and multi-faceted, multidimensional, not just a fantasy in latex. This aproach attracts clients whose company and sessioning I enjoy for more reasons than just the fact that they contribute to my livelihood. LIke minded play partners make for amazaingly awesome sessions.
Playing is a two way thing. When I feel there is no connection, it;s a one way street. i feel that I’m giving and giving, trying to read my sub’s mind, and getting nothing in return.
My best sessions, I’ve had them with people who followed me here, or on Twitter, or on the occasional BDSM forum. They are intrigued by the person behind the mask. I am also interested in the real person behind the paying client.
So once again, I guess that I’m going to find myself explaining how, despite this being my job, i try to get more than just hard cash from it. That all the technological advances and online platforms available, area tool to reach not only a wide audience, but to narrow it down to those who feel an empathy with me. To cast my wide net, to become more accurate and precise, in a way.
It’s a shame that most blogs written form a male sub;’s point of view, are in general fantasies and Femdom fiction, or simply, lyrical flattery of specific favourite Dommes. You rarely read about their experiences, emotions, how they feel. is it perhaps a female thing? I’definitely would love to read more about what goes on inside a sub’s head. I hear about it in session, in my pre and post session talk. But it would benefit male subs no end, if they write more about themselves and helped dispel negative myths about male submission.